I Hate Mother’s Day

Sad Mother's DayIf I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that, I could take a nice long vacation and take all the people who say it someplace far, far away. Any guesses about when they would want to go?

What kind of person hates Mother’s Day? There are actually a few different groups. This article is dedicated to them and is a public service message on their behalf.

Children Who Have Lost Their Mothers
Every day, men and women, boys and girls lose their mothers. It doesn’t matter how old they are or what the circumstances were, losing a mother has an enormous impact on a person. For some, they’ve lost the closest person in the world, the only person who will ever love them the way a mother does. For others, they’ve lost the chance to ask for or give forgiveness for a lifetime of pain, or the chance to hear that their mother actually valued them.

Mothers Who Don’t Get to Raise Their Children
You would be shocked to know how many women are walking among you who have had miscarriages. And then there are those who have had to bury their children. Many have made the painful choice to release their child for adoption and trust someone else to love and care for their child as much as they would. Some have made terrible mistakes and have had their children taken from them (you may have less sympathy for this part of the group, but they’re still suffering). Others are walking around with the guilt and regret of an abortion in their heart.

Those Who Will Never be Mothers
Another group that walks around suffering in silence are those who want nothing more than to be a mother, but can’t. Whether through singleness or infertility, parenthood is not on the horizon. Many of them are undergoing fertility treatments that leave them a hormonal mess, so it’s even harder to handle the emotional aspect of their situation.

For these people, some of whom have the multiplied pain of being in more than one group, Mother’s Day and the week leading up to it are excruciating. They’re inundated with displays in stores, signs on their commute, advertisements on TV and in magazines, and posts on social media.

Survival Strategies for Those Who Hate Mother’s Day
Fortunately there are ways to limit the reminders and pain. Many get all their shopping done a week to ten days before so that they can avoid the obligatory and ubiquitous “Happy Mother’s Day!” from checkout clerks. Many stay off social media. Many watch DVDs to avoid commercials on their favorite TV shows (even fast forwarding on the DVR, it’s obvious what the commercial is about). For thousands of women across America, Mother’s Day is the one day a year that they stay out of church and don’t go out to lunch.

What You Can Do to Help the Hurting Around You
Be aware that this is a hard time of year for some of the people around you. Don’t wish every woman a happy Mother’s Day. Don’t criticize them for hating Mother’s Day or being sad. Don’t tell them it’s not a big deal or that they’re not missing much by not being a mother, especially if you have kids. Don’t minimize how difficult it is for them to be without their mother. Just be gentle. Offer a kind word. Say a prayer for their healing. And gently remind them that in a few days it will be over.